HTWFAIP: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain

In a previous post I listed Dale Carnegie’s 3 fundamental techniques for handling people from his 1936 bestseller How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Lets take a closer look at number one.

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

Criticism is ineffective because it puts people on the defensive and leads them to try to justify themselves instead of making the change that you desire. Criticism injures a person’s pride, damages their sense of importance, breeds resentment, and reduces morale. This is not an environment conducive to positive change. One of the many famous anecdotes sprinkled throughout the book appears in this chapter, and sums it up nicely: “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

Dale Carnegie lists six ways to make people like you in his 1936 bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile

3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

These principles hold true today.